


purple.

by sxftmelody



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 16:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14773419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxftmelody/pseuds/sxftmelody
Summary: Jung Jinsoul falls for Kim Jungeun because of her innocence.She leaves for the same reason.orJinsoul is a hitman and Jungeun's a runaway.





	purple.

**Author's Note:**

> t/w: suicide, major character death, murder
> 
> i will put '***' before the major character death happens

**_Jung Jinsoul falls for Kim Jungeun because of her innocence._ **

**_She leaves for the same reason._ **

**x**

based on this m/v: [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GxdpE7wEUw ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GxdpE7wEUw)

**x**

Jinsoul lowers the black cap on her head as a precautionary measure; just in case anyone were to spot her up on the rooftop. It’s not very likely someone will look up a huge skyscraper and spot her—but she’s better safe than sorry. She pulls out her the crumpled picture in her back pocket and unfolds it along with the note inside of it. Written in the note is a time and place whilst the picture shows her next victim, an old man with greying hairs and a wrinkly face. His name is written next to him; Kim Hyunji. No doubt he’s a rich person, almost all of Jinsoul’s jobs involve old men who are as filthy rich as they are filthy.

She sucks her teeth and lowers her duffel bag just near the edge of the roof, moving down her own body with it. She unzips her bag and pulls out her sniper, positioning its aim just at the front entrance of the building written on the note. She stays there for a while, maybe a good fifteen minutes, and she holds her breath every time someone exits the glass doors.

When she spots him, all it takes is a steady finger pressing down with enough pressure to release the bullet that hurdles towards him, seemingly faster than light itself, and then she packs up her things hastily before making her way down the long flights of stairs. She doesn’t need to look twice to know that her shot was lethal.

**A couple of weeks later.**

Jungeun tightens the straps of her bag as she continues walking down the road with the sweat accumulating on the back of her neck in response to the pelting sun’s heat. She uses her flannel she had taken off minutes ago to wipe away the sticky sweat, sighing deeply as she feels the back of her feet scraping against her shoes. She jumps when she hears a car honking and her heartbeat picks up when the car stops just next to her.

She spots multiple men, all rowdy and whistling at her, inside the small SUV.

“You need a ride somewhere, babe?” the driver asks Jungeun as the other guys eye her like she’s some sort of delicious cuisine.

“No, I’m fine,” Jungeun responds politely, knowing that if she were to even try to to show some sort of attitude that the man would most likely get defensive. She keeps walking and clenches her teeth when she finds the car slowly driving besides her. She looks around and finds the road completely empty, her pulse racing with anxiety.

“It’s hot outside,” one guy says with a disgustingly husky voice, “wouldn’t want you to faint.”

“I said I’m fine,” Jungeun repeats, walking faster though she knows the car will just easily speed up.

When she hears the engine of a different car behind her, she quickly turns around and spots a red open-top car coming towards them.

“Just get in the car, girl,” the driver urges her.

“ _No_ ,” Jungeun keeps walking, watching as the car gets closer and closer. When it’s close enough to hear her, Jungeun shouts out, “Hey!” she lifts up her arms.

“Tssk, we’re _right here_.”

“Hey!” Jungeun repeats, noticing the sunglasses on the girl’s face as she drives straight past her. Jungeun’s heart drops and she jumps back when an arm reaches out to grab onto her. She curls back and smacks the hand away, “Don’t touch me!”

“We’re doing you a favor,”  the man who grabbed her growls as the car comes to a complete stop. Jungeun starts hurrying away before she hears a car door open and shut behind. Her heart is beating rapidly as she starts sprinting away. A gasp escapes her lips when she hears something loud and cracking—a gunshot. She turns around and hears the group of men cursing about the tire being popped, and then she sees the red car that had passed her earlier coming back.

The car stops next to her with the driver staring straight ahead with no emotion, a pistol in her lap. Jungeun isn’t exactly in her right mind when she just throws her bag into the back and hops into the passenger seat—not even fully seated before the girl starts driving. It’s silent between them as Jungeun steadies her breathing, checking the rearview mirror and watching as the SUV disappears from their sight with each passing second.

“Thank you,” Jungeun says after a few minutes, unusually comfortable with the girl despite the fact that there’s a weapon in her lap.

“They didn’t do anything to you?” the girl questions, eyes focused on the road (Jungeun assumes this—she can’t really see her eyes behind the sunglasses and black cap she has on).

“No,” Jungeun replies, “but they were going to if you hadn’t come back.”

The girl nods with a hum. Jungeun leans her head back and stares at the passing scenery (which just consists of a lot of sand and empty roads). She doesn’t realize her eyes are fluttering close until she’s deep in slumber.

**  
**

When she wakes up, she smells the saltiness of the air and hears the calls of seagulls, indicating that she’s near the ocean. She looks around, finding the driver’s seat empty and noticing the popped front hood. They’re parked by the beach with the sun quickly setting and the moon already peeking out. Jungeun exits the car and joins the stranger in front of the hood. The stranger’s sunglasses are settled on top of her head and the cap is  nowhere to be seen, revealing all of her face. She’s pretty, Jungeun finds out.

(And she’s only a little bit taller than Jungeun.)

“Overheated,” the stranger states, waving away some of the smoke rising from all the gears, “Hope you’re not in a rush to go wherever you’re going.”

Jungeun snorts, “If I was, would I have fallen asleep in a stranger’s car?”

The stranger makes eye contact with Jungeun and gives a small smile, revealing the faintest hint of a dimple, “I suppose not.”

She makes her way towards the small concrete wall which separates the parking lot and the sandy beach, lifting herself onto it with her legs dangling off the side. Jungeun places herself next to the girl as the two of them wait for the car to cool down.

“Where are you headed?” the stranger asks.

Jungeun stares down at her aching feet, “Would it be weird if I said wherever you are?”

A scoff.

Jungeun laughs quietly, her voice trailing off like the sounds of the waves crashing gently against the beach.

“I don’t have a particular destination,” the blonde girl says.

“So, I’m not dropping you off anywhere?”

“No,” Jungeun mumbles, lifting up her legs and resting her feet on the wall along with the rest of her body. She unties her shoes and takes them off with a frown, noticing the dried blood staining the back of it. She examines the scabs on the back of her feet and sighs, putting her shoes back on and letting her feet dangle over the sides again.

“Don’t feel burdened, though. I can start walking from here if you have someplace to be.”

The mysterious girl jumps down gracefully from the wall and walks to the car.

Jungeun thinks that the girl is just going to drive off without her but watches as she pulls out a duffel bag from the back seat, rummaging through it. She comes towards Jungeun with a small pouch, pulling out a couple of bandaids.

She places the pouch next to Jungeun’s thighs and bends down to untie Jungeun’s shoes in order to take them off. The girl pulls out a small wrapper and rips it open, revealing a small folded paper of disinfectant. The stranger wipes away the blood on Jungeun’s feet and stops when she hears Jungeun hiss at the stinging pain, looking up to meet her eyes as if to say ‘are you okay?’. Jungeun nods and she continues to wipe at the cuts.

Her fingers are gentle when she wraps the bandaids around the back of her feet and when she slips Jungeun’s shoes back on. She takes off her sunglasses from her head and grabs the pouch, heading back towards the car without another word. She clips the sunglasses to the neckline of her shirt as she drops the car’s hood and returns the pouch to the big black duffel bag. She opens the door and enters, shutting it gently next to her.

She starts to check the mirrors and Jungeun watches her with a heavy heart, thinking that the girl is _really_ going to leave.

The girl looks away from the rearview mirror and when she connects eyes with Jungeun, she raises both of her eyebrows.

“Are you coming or not?”

Jungeun’s lips curl upwards into a growing smile and she hops down, hurrying towards the car and practically leaping into the passenger seat.

**x**

They reach a small motel when it’s well past midnight and the stranger pays the front clerk with a wad of cash. Jungeun feels bad that the girl has to pay for her but the stranger tells her that she’s well off money-wise. Jungeun doesn’t say anything in response (read: she doesn’t think she’s in a place to say anything in response).

“Ticks, bed bugs, or lice?” Jungeun asks as soon as the pair enter the room. She stares at the one bed in the small motel room, a sneer on her face.

“All three,” the stranger grumbles, tossing her own backpack onto the bed, “I’ll shower first.”

“Okay,” Jungeun nods, sitting on the edge of the bed, “Hey—” she calls out before the stranger can disappear into the bathroom, “What’s your name?”

“No names,” the stranger says, voice stern but eyes light.

“How about a nickname?” Jungeun suggests.

The stranger narrows her eyes, “Fine. Nicknames are okay. No real names.”

“Alright.” Jungeun hums. “I’m… Red.”

“Red,” the girl repeats, “Hmm… I’m…” she ponders for a second, “Blue.”

“ _Blue_ ,” Jungeun replies in amusement with raised eyebrows, “Red and blue. We’re opposites.”

Blue smiles, one that actually reveals her teeth and one unlike any of the few glimpses Jungeun has seen since she met the girl earlier that day. It’s beautiful, Jungeun concludes, _she’s_ beautiful.

“I won’t use up all the hot water, _Red_.”

**The next day.**

Jinsoul shouldn’t have gotten involved with the girl, should’ve left her at the beach whilst she could, shouldn’t have picked her up in the first place—but she _didn’t_ leave her at the beach and she _did_ pick her up—so she’s _kind of_ screwed.

Red is still at the motel where Jinsoul left her that morning, waiting for her (indefinite) return.

(“You’ll be back?”

“Yeah, in a few hours.”

“Okay.”)

And now, she’s not fully invested into this mission; her mind is wandering despite the steadiness of her aiming. Her focus is crucial in her line of work—which is why she’s always been such a lone wolf—so Jinsoul isn’t to be blamed if she’s off her game because of the sudden intrusion of another human being in her life.

She shoots as soon as her target comes into view and packs up her things within seconds. She rushes towards the staircase and gasps when the door bursts open. She drops her bag as two men emerge. The smaller man lunges for her and she ducks, only to receive a punch on her side from the other one. She jabs at the smaller man’s gut and makes him take a step back, giving her enough time to jump out of the way from the bigger guy’s blow. She elbows his chin and he recoils with a curse.

She deflects the little man’s next punch and kicks him, sending him back down the stairs he had just run up. The big guy grabs her from behind, his rough hands squeezing her arms. Jinsoul struggles and knocks her head back roughly, hearing a couple of cracks—she broke his nose. He lets go of her with a low scream and Jinsoul scoops her bag up, hurrying down the stairs.

**x**

“Jesus, Blue,” Jungeun mumbles at the bruises lining Jinsoul’s arms and waist. She’s clad in only a black sports bra as Jungeun hands her a plastic bag full of ice from the motel’s ice machine. Jungeun doesn’t ask what happened, knowing that it would cross the line they’ve set between them, but she sits next to Jinsoul worriedly. Jinsoul winces as she lifts her hand to press the ice against the back of her head.

“Here,” Jungeun takes the bag from Jinsoul and holds it for her, eyes full of concern.

“Thanks,” Jinsoul says, her hair still wet from the shower she just had, “So, how was your day?”

Jungeun shakes her head with a scoff, eyes roaming the black and blue bruises on Jinsoul’s body, “Not as eventful as yours, obviously. I just laid in bed and watched shitty soap operas,” she lowers the ice and points to the shirt in Jinsoul’s hand, “Let’s get this shirt on you. You’ll get sick.”

Jinsoul stands slowly from the bed as Jungeun follows, taking the shirt from her.

“I can do it myself,” Jinsoul grumbles, reaching for the shirt only to have Jungeun keep it out of her reach.

“Arms up.” she says.

“ _Red_.”

“ _Up_.”

Jinsoul sighs and does as she’s told, face contorting in pain as she does so. Jungeun frowns and slips the shirt onto Jinsoul, careful not to be too rough with any sore spots.

“There.”

“Thanks,” Jinsoul whispers.

“No problem,” Jungeun hums, lifting the ice back onto Jinsoul’s head, “Have you eaten yet?”

“No. Have you?”

“Nope.”

“... Do you know how to drive?”

“More or less.”

“Let’s go get some food. We have to be out of here by midnight, anyway.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

**x**

Jungeun slides back into the driver’s seat of the car with a large cheese pizza in her lap. The night is cold and Jinsoul had activated the roof to slide back into position as soon as they got into the car earlier.

“I can’t remember the last time I had pizza,” Jungeun hums contently as she opens the box. She pulls out a piece and hands it to Jinsoul along with a napkin.

“Thanks,” Jinsoul says, biting into the greasy goodness. She leans back against the car seat with a groan, pressing a hand to her bruises.

“You got pretty beat up,” Jungeun states as she chews on her pizza. Jinsoul stiffens up, waiting for the inevitable questioning she expects to get. Jungeun laughs and shakes her head, placing the pizza box into the space between the driving wheel and the front window, “Relax. I won’t ask.”

“You won’t?” Jinsoul asks, still tense.

“As long as you won’t ask me why I’m on the road,” Jungeun hums with a friendly smile.

Jinsoul feels her insides churn, “Okay.”

 **  
**  
  
  


“You’re twenty? I’m a year younger than you!” Jungeun almost jumps out of her seat and she accidentally honks the car horn, “Oops.”

The pizza box is still half-full, tossed into the backseat.

“We’re almost the same age, but you seem so much _older_!”

“Wow,” Jinsoul deadpans as Jungeun laughs, probably much too loudly for two in the morning, and it makes the corners of Jinsoul’s lips tug up. There’s something about the blonde girl sitting next to her that Jinsoul’s attracted to; something about her carefree nature.

Something about her smile.

It feels like a bucket of ice water is dumped onto her at her realization that she’s beginning to become attached to Red. She hasn’t felt like this in _years_ (probably because she hasn’t really had human contact in _years_ ).

Despite the warning signs, Jinsoul ignores the feeling because Red’s laughter makes her feel lighter than she’s felt in years and it makes Jinsoul feel happy to be on Earth.

**x**

“How does your side feel?” Jungeun asks as they walk along the beach. The sun’s starting to rise now, giving the sky a pinkish-orange hue. The two are surprisingly not that tired considering they’ve been up all night.

Jinsoul shrugs, “As good as new.”

“Liar,” Jungeun smiles. Jinsoul doesn’t have much time to reply because Jungeun rushes off excitedly as she spots a seashell. She picks it up and holds it out to Jinsoul, who’s slowly walking towards her.

“What?” Jinsoul raises an eyebrow at Jungeun’s expectant eyes.

“You can hear the ocean in it!” Jungeun says, holding it to her own ear as an example before holding it back out to Jinsoul.

“Why would I want to hear the ocean inside of _that_ when the ocean is _right there_?” Jinsoul asks, pointing to said ocean.

“Come _on_ , Blue,” Jungeun says with a pout and Jinsoul can’t help but chuckle as she takes the seashell. She stares at it for a second, ponders whether or not she actually wants to hold up a fucking _seashell_ to her ear, before sighing.

She holds it up to her ear and watches as Jungeun stares at her in anticipation. There’s something about the sparkle inside of Jungeun’s eyes that makes Jinsoul’s stomach flutter and she doesn’t even focus on the noise she hears inside of the seashell.

“Do you hear it, Blue?” Jungeun asks, teetering on the heels of her feet.

Jinsoul, who’s still staring at Jungeun, smiles and nods, “Yeah, Red. I do.”

**x**

“You ever had a pet, Blue?” Jungeun asks as they sit on the sand and watch a golden retriever play fetch with its owner. The dog wades through the water to get a worn-out tennis ball in its mouth.

Jinsoul makes a face, “Do fish count?”

“Yeah, why not?” Jungeun responds with a smile, turning her head to look at Jinsoul, “What kind of fish did you have?”

“A betta fish,” Jinsoul answers.

“Betta fish are pretty,” Jungeun comments, “Let me guess… yours was… _blue_!”

“Bingo,” Jinsoul says, her lips curving upwards.

Jungeun snorts and laughs before she comes to a realization, “ _Wait_ , aren’t those the types of fish that have to live alone or else they’d end up fighting the other fish?”

“Yes,” Jinsoul nods, watching Jungeun’s eyes light up at the connection she’s made in her head. Jungeun lets out another laugh and shakes her head.

“Blue, you really are something else, you know?” Jungeun says as she knocks shoulders with Jinsoul.

Jinsoul grins, feeling her heart beat race up as she looks back towards the horizon.

“I could say the same about you, Red.”

**Two weeks later.**

It’s been a couple of weeks since Jinsoul’s first picked up the blonde girl at the side of the road and they’ve created a somewhat stable routine between themselves. Jinsoul travels around and uses a shitty flip-phone to get her jobs whilst Jungeun stays at whatever hotel/motel room they’ve rented until Jinsoul returns. The trips usually last no longer than two days and when Jinsoul comes back, Jungeun’s always there to aid any wounds she’s gotten or to just lighten up her mood with stupid jokes she’s got stored in her brain.

“Hey, Blue,” Jungeun says as she wraps a bandage around Jinsoul’s waist to cover the gash she’s gotten from having her side smashed into a brick wall. Jinsoul hums, watching Jungeun’s concentrated face.

“How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?”

Jinsoul’s already smiling and rolling her eyes as Jungeun finishes wrapping up her bandages. The younger girl lowers Jinsoul’s shirt and stands up, her hands still resting on Jinsoul’s waist.

“ _Ten-tickles,_ ” she whispers with a grin. Jinsoul lets out a sigh as Jungeun laughs, removing her hands from Jinsoul.

“You’re unbelievable,” Jinsoul shakes her head, moving to go lay down on the bed. Jungeun shuts the light off before joining her underneath the covers.

“You love my jokes, Blue,” Jungeun hums.

Jinsoul snorts, “Who lied to you?”

“Shut up,” Jungeun replies instantly, her arm carefully moving over Jinsoul’s waist, not putting too much pressure on her wound.

Jinsoul’s not sure when they’ve started _cuddling_ during the night, but it’s become a thing.

(Jinsoul _does know_ when they’ve started cuddling. Last week, she had woken up to Jungeun’s head on her chest and legs tangled with her own. Jinsoul didn’t feel bothered by it at all—in fact, Jinsoul _liked_ it.)

When Jungeun pulls her closer, Jinsoul ignores the sharp pain in her side and allows it.

**Seven weeks later.**

It’s almost two months later when Jinsoul gets a job offer that’s quite far from where they’re currently positioned. She could decline it, but it’s one of the higher paid offers she’s had in a while (and it’s relatively easy; she doesn’t even have to kill anyone, she just has to keep a look-out).

She accepts it although there’s a certain blonde girl at the back of her mind.

**x**

“I might be gone for longer than a couple days, Red,” Jinsoul says hesitantly as she packs her duffel bag, careful to keep the sniper inside hidden and out of Jungeun’s view.

Jungeun, who has just finished brushing her teeth, exits the bathroom with a frown, “Oh, really?”

“Yeah,” Jinsoul nods, zipping up her bag as Jungeun gets closer, “I’ll leave some cash behind so you can get food and go out wherever you’d like.”

“You don’t have to,” Jungeun whispers, sitting on the bed next to Jinsoul’s bag. Jinsoul stares at the guilty look on her face and already knows what Jungeun’s going to say.

“It’s _fine_ , Red,” Jinsoul says, “I really do have a lot more money than I need. You’re not a burden.”

“It’s not that I think you don’t have enough to spend on me,” Jungeun sighs, outstretching her arms to show her frustration, “I just want to do my part. I feel like I should get a job or something, I don’t know—just to _help out._ ”

Jinsoul bends down the slightest bit so she can look into Jungeun’s eyes without having to physically looking down at her, “We move way too much for you to get a steady job, Red.”

Jungeun looks down at her lap, “There are jobs I can do without needing to stay put in one place.”

Jinsoul scoffs, “Like what? Being a prostitute?”

Despite Jinsoul’s light tone, Jungeun locks eyes with her. There’s a moment of silence before Jinsoul feels the realization hit her; Jungeun’s serious about it.

She takes a step back, straightening her posture and crossing her arms.

“No,” she shakes her head, “ _no_.”

Jungeun stands up, “What? Why not?” she asks defensively, taking a step forward. Jinsoul holds her ground and shakes her head again.

“Red, _no_.”

“I could _help_ ,” Jungeun tries to reason with her, “you’re going to run out of money eventually.”

“No I _won’t_ ,” Jinsoul says coldly, “It’s too dangerous. I won’t let you do it.”

“You’re one to talk about things being ‘ _too dangerous_ ’!” Jungeun raises her voice, taking another step forward and jabbing a finger into Jinsoul’s chest, “You come back with stab wounds and black eyes and bruises and busted lips all the time!”

Jinsoul grabs Jungeun’s wrist tightly, but not enough to hurt her, “ _I_ know how to handle myself,” she says in a scarily steady tone, “ _You_ do not. Need I remind you of how we met?”

Jungeun’s eyes turn glossy as she tightens her jaw, staring at Jinsoul with fire in her eyes.

The older girl sighs and loosens her grip on Jungeun’s wrist, the blonde girl letting it fall slack to her side. The tense atmosphere in the room dissipates upon Jinsoul’s softening demeanor.

“I just don’t want you getting hurt, is all,” Jinsoul says honestly. Her usual cold, monotone voice is shakier—quieter and more vulnerable.

Jungeun’s angry eyes turn gentle as Jinsoul stares at her.

“I don’t like seeing you get hurt either,” Jungeun reasons, “I feel so bad whenever you come back with another injury. I can only do so much, you know? I want to do more to help.”

“I know,” Jinsoul nods, looking down at the ground and trying to come up with a solution to their problem, “Just—Any job _besides_ that, okay?”

Jungeun scoffs as a tear rolls down her cheek, “Like what?”

Jinsoul looks up, spots the tear, and wipes it away with her thumb, “I… I don’t know. How about walking dogs? You like dogs, don’t you? You had that pitbull named Rex?”

Jungeun lets out a shaky laugh, “You remember that.”

“Of course I did,” Jinsoul replies, cupping her cheek, “So, walking dogs?”

“Walking dogs,” Jungeun repeats with a smile, “That… That might just work, Blue.”

Jungeun shuffles forward and wraps her arms around Jinsoul’s midsection, burying her face into Jinsoul’s neck. Jinsoul sighs and reciprocates the hug, pressing the lightest of kisses to the side of Jungeun’s head.

“You’ll be great at walking dogs, Red.”

“Shut up,” Jungeun laughs, tightening her hold on Jinsoul, who lets out a soft chuckle.

**x**

“Come back safely, okay?” Jungeun says as Jinsoul packs up to head out.

“I’ll try,” Jinsoul says, heading towards the door after nodding to Jungeun.

Jinsoul doesn’t expect the blonde girl to rush forward, standing between her and the door.

“Red? What are you doi—”

Jinsoul’s cut off as Jungeun presses their lips together in a chaste kiss. Jungeun pulls away just as fast as she had gone in, and gives Jinsoul a shy smile.

“I expect you back here in _one piece_ by the end of the week, Blue,” the blonde girl says sternly yet quietly at the same time, as if she’s scared she’d just ruin something.

Jinsoul feels heat rushing to her neck as she nods, gripping onto her duffel bag tightly and mustering as much of a smile as she can with her fluttering stomach.

“Yes, ma’am.”

**Four days later.**

When Jinsoul returns (in one piece, as she’s promised), Jungeun isn’t at the hotel room. A brief moment of panic spreads through Jinsoul’s body before she spots a handwritten note on the bed. Hurrying forward, she easily recognizes the curly handwriting as the blonde girl’s.

**I took your advice and got a job as a dog-walker. If I’m not here when you come back, I’m walking some furry four-legged animal!**

The anxiety inside Jinsoul subsides as she reads and re-reads the note multiple times. Jungeun didn’t leave.

Jinsoul lays the duffel bag down in the corner of the room and starts to undress from the clothes she’s been wearing for four days in a row. She’s only wearing a sports bra and is about to unzip her jeans when the door opens and in walks the blonde girl that Jinsoul’s become so attached to.

“You’re back!” Jungeun squeals, closing the door and rushing forward.

Jinsoul’s glad she isn’t injured because Jungeun quite literally _collides_ into her and Jinsoul has to take a couple steps back to steady herself, welcoming Jungeun into her arms.

“You’re sweaty and you smell like wet dog,” Jinsoul comments as Jungeun hugs her tightly.

“Shut up, Blue, you smell just as shitty,” Jungeun retorts, “I’m just glad you’re back.”

Jungeun pulls away and examines Jinsoul’s body, “ _And_ you’re not hurt!”

“One piece, remember?” Jinsoul smiles as she feels Jungeun’s hand coming to rest at her nape.

“I remember,” Jungeun whispers gently, staring into Jinsoul’s eyes before her gaze flickers down to the girl’s lips.

There’s a short moment of held breaths before they both lean in.

Their second kiss is much longer-lasting and passionate than their first one, and it makes Jinsoul’s stomach do multiple flips. Jungeun’s tongue licks at Jinsoul’s lower lip and their kiss is brought to another level.

Jungeun pulls back and stares at Jinsoul, breath struggling to stay steady, “Let’s shower.”

Jinsoul doesn’t need to be told twice as Jungeun drags her to the bathroom and they strip off of their clothes in a fluster of laughs and smiles.

**x**

Jinsoul might be in love. The thing is: she doesn’t know what love is supposed to feel like—not romantic love, at least.

What she does know, though, is that the blonde girl currently in her arms gives her a purpose in life other than to just _survive_. All of Jinsoul’s goals right now revolve around her partner.

She wants to protect the girl and to keep her from harm’s way.

More than anything, Jinsoul wants to make her happy.

**Four months later.**

“Jungeun,” the girl says as soon as Jinsoul gets out of the shower.

“What?” Jinsoul asks, pausing midway as she’s drying her hair with a towel.

“My name,” the blonde girl says, “it’s Jungeun.”

Jungeun shrugs, “You don’t have to tell me your name. It’s just… I’d feel more comfortable if you’d call me by my real name instead of just ‘Red’.”

Jinsoul stands still for a moment and blinks at the blonde girl, “Jungeun…” she says softly, trying out the name.

The younger girl grins before turning her head back to the TV in front of her. Jinsoul feels her heart race at the sight of the girl just a few feet away from her. They’ve gone nearly a whole year without knowing each other’s names. Finding out Jungeun’s name is a _big step_ for them, and Jinsoul feels her stomach churn. She takes a deep breath.

“Jinsoul,” the older one mumbles as she passes by the bed to get to her duffel bag, pulling out a sweater, “my name is Jinsoul.”

The TV is the only noise that’s made for the next few seconds until Jinsoul hears a sniffle and looks up, seeing Jungeun smiling with watery eyes.

“What? Why are you crying?” Jinsoul drops the sweater in her hands onto the ground and hurries over to the girl’s side, cupping Jungeun’s face.

“These are happy tears,” Jungeun laughs, pushing Jinsoul’s hands away, “I’m just glad you trust me enough to tell me your name.”

“Oh,” Jinsoul says, tilting her head, “Of course I trust you, Jungeun.”

The blonde girl opens her arms and Jinsoul doesn’t have to be told twice to move forward and hug the girl. Jinsoul feels soft kisses on her collarbone as Jungeun hugs her tightly.

“I’m so glad I met you, Jinsoul,” she whispers. Jinsoul closes her eyes and hums.

**x**

The next day, they head to a local fair (read: Jungeun drags Jinsoul to go because Jinsoul didn’t want to go with her).

They ride the ferris wheel multiple times even though Jinsoul says ‘it’s the same view every time’.

Jungeun wants to eat cotton candy and Jinsoul buys it for her.

(Jungeun eats the blue side and makes Jinsoul eat the pink).

“I’m Red, not Pink.”

“It’s the closest thing to red between the two!”

Jungeun drags Jinsoul onto the pirate ship ride and Jinsoul hates every second of it—but Jungeun loves it, so Jinsoul, in return, ends up loving it (slightly).

They take pictures in the photobooth and make dumb faces. They spend hours in the arcade playing skeeball and yelling over who’s a better player (they’re both pretty shitty).

Jungeun is surprisingly good at air hockey and Jinsoul loses to her every game.

But when it comes to shooting down plastic cans with a toy gun, Jinsoul exceeds.

**A few weeks later.**

It’s first time one of Jinsoul’s jobs has made its way near Jungeun. Their car is shot at by a passing-by van and Jinsoul screams at Jungeun to get down as the vehicle zips by them (all while unloading a clip of a pistol) before disappearing down the road.

Jinsoul grits her teeth and has half the mind to follow the car before she remembers Jungeun is _right there_. Her mind snaps out of angry, revenge mode and she becomes worried.

“ _Jungeun_ , Jungeun, are you alright?” Jinsoul pulls the car over and examines the younger girl, “You didn’t get hit, did you?”

“No, no, I’m alright,” Jungeun says shakily, “Who was that?”

“I… I don’t know,” Jinsoul sighs, glancing at her rearview mirror, “Let’s just get out of here.”

**x**

The girls don’t talk much about their past lives.

Jinsoul doesn’t know if Jungeun has any siblings or why she was on the road when she first met her. Likewise, Jungeun doesn’t know what kind of job Jinsoul has or why Jinsoul has literal wads of cash instead of a bank card.

Jinsoul wonders what would happen if Jungeun knew about her job; whether she’d leave or stay, and thinks that maybe it’s best to keep it a secret.

**x**

“My mom died giving birth to me,” Jungeun says one night as they lay together in bed, staring up at the ceiling in the dark, “my dad raised me all by himself.”

Jinsoul shifts and turns so she’s face-to-face with her partner. She wants to ask why Jungeun is talking about this all of a sudden, but keeps quiet at the solemn look on Jungeun’s face.

“He was a good father, given the circumstances. I never saw him much because he was always so busy with work. I spent a lot more time with my nanny than I ever did with him,” Jungeun explains softly, “but whenever I did see him, he’d bring me lots of gifts and tell me stories about his travels.”

“You were an only child?” Jinsoul asks. Jungeun hums.

Jinsoul smiles sadly, “I have… Well… _had_ a little brother.”

“You did?” Jungeun questions softly as the older girl takes a moment to prepare herself for what she’s about to tell the girl.

She trusts Jungeun. Jungeun won’t hurt her.

“Yeah, he died when I was seventeen. He… he was only six,” Jinsoul explains, trying to keep her voice steady. A reassuring hand comes up to cup her cheek, a thumb caressing her skin.

“You don’t have to answer this but,” Jungeun starts off, “how did he die?”

Jungeun can _feel_ Jinsoul’s jaw tighten underneath her fingertips and can hear Jinsoul gulp down the lump in her throat.

“He was… murdered,” Jinsoul answers, ignoring the soft gasp Jungeun lets out, “my whole family was, actually. I… I wasn’t home when the intruders came in.”

“Jinsoul…” Jungeun whispers, shifting to get closer to the girl whose eyes were forming tears, “Did they catch who did it?”

Jinsoul caught him—not the police— _Jinsoul_.

She had killed him, point-blank, with a gunshot to the head. Staring at his dead body, she thought she’d feel a weight lifted off of her shoulders. She had killed the man who killed her family and yet she still felt empty.

If anything, she felt even emptier than she had _before_ she killed him.

“Can I stop the story here?” Jinsoul asks, feeling her voice shake with each syllable.

Jungeun nods and wipes away the tear that rolls out of Jinsoul’s left eye.

“Of course,” she presses a quick kiss to Jinsoul’s nose, telling her with her actions that everything’s okay. Jinsoul whispers a small ‘thank you’ before she feels more tears coming out of her eyes.

She’s never told anybody this story before.

(She’s never _had_ somebody to tell it to.)

And now, she’s being held by this girl—this _amazing_ girl—who’s whispering soft words of reassurance and wiping away her tears as she cries like hell.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Jungeun says in a quiet tone once Jinsoul’s calmed down, “no one should ever have to go through that.”

When Jungeun sighs, Jinsoul looks at her confusedly.

“My dad was murdered, too,” Jungeun says, “he was shot after getting out of work. They never caught the guy who did it, either.”

“It was why I was on the run, actually,” Jungeun explains, “My dad always spoke about me running away if he were to ever get hurt, to start a new life. I never thought about it seriously because I didn’t know people out there actually wanted to harm my father. When he died, I got up and left.”

Jinsoul tries to keep her breathing steady as Jungeun continues with her story.

“I found out through social media,” Jungeun says bitterly, “the headlines were ‘Kim Hyunji Shot by a Mystery Sniper!’ or ‘Kim’s Corporation’s CEO Shot Dead’.”

Jinsoul’s blood runs cold at the name, but she masks her surprise.

“I just ran,” Jungeun whispers, burrowing her face into Jinsoul’s neck, “I ran.”

Jinsoul wants to push Jungeun away. She feels a pressure on her chest and it’s starting to get hard to breath as Jungeun’s arm tightens around her waist. The comfort she’s once felt in the girl’s arms is guilt-ridden and shameful now. Her mind runs around in circles as she hears her rapid heartbeat thudding in her ears.

Kim Hyunji was Jungeun’s father.

Jinsoul killed Jungeun’s father.

**x**

The next few days pass by in a blur.

Jinsoul says she’s going on multiple jobs but the truth is she just wants to get away from Jungeun. Every time she sees the blonde girl’s face, she feels a sharp pain in her heart that doesn’t go away until she looks away from Jungeun. And even when she looks away from Jungeun, her presence is always in Jinsoul’s mind and it’s too much for Jinsoul to handle—so she goes away.

**x**

When they’re on the move to a new location, Jinsoul keeps her eyes on the road and tries to ignore Jungeun’s jokes.

They don’t make her laugh anymore.

They make her want to break down and cry.

Jungeun notices this, of course, and stares at Jinsoul, burning a hole into the side of Jinsoul’s face with her hurt and confused eyes.

**x**

“Pull over,” Jungeun says one night.

“What?” Jinsoul asks without looking at her.

“I said: _pull over_ ,” Jungeun reaches for the steering wheel and the car swerves wildly before Jinsoul gains control and does what she says.

“ _Dammit_ , what the _hell_ , Jungeun? What if there was a car on the other side of the road? We could’ve _died_ ,” Jinsoul spews angrily, putting the car into park and looking at Jungeun, who’s already looking at her. The look in Jungeun’s eyes immediately makes Jinsoul back off.

“I know you haven’t been on jobs, Jinsoul,” Jungeun starts off.

“Excuse me?”

“You didn’t take your duffel bag the last time you went,” Jungeun says, “and you don’t come back with any injuries or anything, not even a scratch.”

“What are you—”

“ _Let me speak,_ ” Jungeun cuts her off.

Jinsoul takes a deep breath and sits back against the car door, staring at the girl whose father she’d murdered without thinking twice.

“I don’t know what I’ve done, but you’re cold to me now. You can barely look me in the eyes let alone talk to me,” and the way Jungeun’s bottom lip quivers hurts more than any bullet that’s travelled through Jinsoul’s body, “Did I do something?”

“No,” Jinsoul answers immediately, “no, you didn’t do anything.”

She hates that she’s made Jungeun think it was her fault.

Jungeun’s innocent, Jungeun doesn’t deserve any of this, Jungeun’s too good for her.

_Jungeun_.

**_Kim_ ** _Jungeun._

**_Kim_ ** _Hyunji._

A loud curse escapes Jinsoul’s lips as she unbuckles her seatbelt and gets out of the car, feeling suffocated.

Jungeun follows worriedly. Jinsoul hurries to the trunk and grabs her duffel bag, swinging it over her shoulders.

“Jinsoul? Jinsoul, What is it?”

“Don’t come near me, _please_ ,” Jinsoul begs, taking a big step away from Jungeun. It feels like her chest is going to cave in on her as she looks around the dark, empty desert. She feels bile rising in her throat and closes her eyes tightly.

“Jinsoul,” Jungeun says worriedly as she eyes the partner whose whole body is shaking, “What’s the matter?”

“I need you to leave,” Jinsoul says hurriedly, tears streaming down her face. She opens her eyes and looks at Jungeun through her blurry vision, “I need you to take my car—take everything, take the money, too—and I need you to _leave_.”

“Jinsoul, what are you saying right now?” Jungeun scoffs in disbelief, “I’m not going to leave you—”

“ _Jungeun,_ **_please_ ** !” Jinsoul raises her voice, “It’s not safe for you to be with me. You need to leave right now and you need to settle down somewhere nice and live the life you’re supposed to be living. You’re not supposed to be with me, you’re not supposed to be anywhere _near_ me!”

Jinsoul’s practically talking through her sobs at this point.

“You’re not in the right mind right now, Jinsoul,” Jungeun tries to reason with her, “what are you talking—”

“ _I killed your father!_ ”

Jungeun’s face turns white as her eyes widen.

“What?”

_This is the only way she’ll listen to me._

Jungeun haphazardly takes off her duffel and throws it onto the ground. She’s gasping through her sobs as she hurriedly unzips the bag. Jinsoul pulls out the sniper and lets it fall onto the desert floor as she points to it.

“I killed him, Jungeun,” she says through her tears with a trembling voice, “ _I killed him_ . I killed the only family member you had and I did it without even thinking about the consequences of my actions. I can’t be near you without wanting to cry because _I hurt you_.”

“You’re lying,” Jungeun whimpers as she starts to cry as well, eyes moving between the weapon on the ground and the woman she’s adored for the past couple years of her life, “ _you’re lying!_ ”

“I’m not,” Jinsoul shakes her head and wipes her tears (they keep coming, though), “I killed your father, Jungeun.”

Jinsoul watches the horror on Jungeun’s face as she lets the news sink in. Jinsoul chokes back another sob as Jungeun’s discolored face becomes _scared_ —she’s scared of _Jinsoul_ —and the girl rushes to the car.

Jinsoul falls to the ground as Jungeun slams the car door shut and drives away.

**One month later.**

“A woman who goes by the name of Jinsoul is on the run right now and is wanted for the murder of Kim Hyunji, the CEO of Kim’s Corporation who was assassinated two years ago,” the news reporter says, “On the screen right now is a photo of the suspect. If you see her, please call the number on the screen or notify your local authorities. She is dangerous and is not to be engaged with.”

Jinsoul feels her heart drop at the photo that’s shown. It’s from a photo booth she and Jungeun had visited when they went to the fair one time. Jungeun’s face is blurred out so it only shows Jinsoul but she knows that Jungeun’s smiling just as widely in that picture as she was.

(She had her own copy of the photo in her duffel bag.)

**Five months later.**

Jinsoul changes her name to ‘Jisoo’ and dyes her hair.

She dyes it blonde.

**Three months later.**

Jinsoul lays low for the next few months and lives on the street due to her lack of money. She wears a fake pair of thick-rimmed glasses and gets a job at a small cafe.

She had tossed her duffel bag (and everything in it) down a river a few weeks ago, so Jinsoul’s living off of tips and bi-weekly paychecks at this point.

She’s just glad that the hunt for her has died down. The first month of her being on everyone’s watchlist made it so Jinsoul had to hide her face _everywhere_ she went. Maybe that’s what she gets, though.

“Jisoo!”

“Yes?” Jinsoul calls out from the back of the cafe.

“I’m leaving now! Don’t forget to lock up!”

“Got it!” Jinsoul replies, carrying a bag of flour up onto the counter. She walks out to the cashier area and looks around the cafe. It’s empty.

She hurries to the back to stuff some leftover muffins and cookies into her backpack so she can eat them the next morning.

**Two years later.**

She saves enough money to rent a small apartment in a broken-down complex and— _hey_ , at least it’s better than sleeping on the wet concrete ground underneath a park bench. It’s been three years since she’s last seen Jungeun.

Jinsoul has gone through countless of minimum wage jobs and long, cold nights in order to try to live a _normal_ life.

It’s harder than it looks, really. Jinsoul’s been so close to just giving up and ending everything, but she keeps on going.

She thinks she deserves to suffer after everything she’s done.

(After all, she’s no better than the bastard who killed her family.)

Hell, she’s even thought about turning herself in, too—but she doesn’t do that because she thinks that it’ll be too easy for her.

She needs to suffer

**Four months later.**

_Ding!_

“Welcome to the pizzeria, what can I get you?” Jinsoul asks as soon as she hears the bell above the door jingle. She has half the urge to roll her eyes because it’s nearly _two_ in the morning and _someone_ wants pizza.

She looks up and the sight before her makes her throat close up immediately.

It’s Jungeun.

She’s no longer blonde and she’s gotten a little skinnier since Jinsoul’s last seen her—but _it’s Jungeun_.

It takes a couple of seconds for Jungeun to realize it’s Jinsoul, and her feet stop midway to the counter. The two stare at each other for a brief moment and Jinsoul feels like she should get the hell out of there before Jungeun calls the police, but she’s surprised when Jungeun just clears her throat and continues walking to the counter.

“Medium cheese, please,” she orders nonchalantly.

Jinsoul blinks at the girl and enters the order, “Is that all?”

“Yes,” Jungeun’s eyes flicker down to the nametag on Jinsoul’s chest, “ _Jisoo_ , that’ll be all.”

Jinsoul’s voice is shaky as she tells Jungeun the price and her hands are even shakier as she receives the money.

“You dyed your hair,” Jungeun comments.

Jinsoul nods and refuses to make eye contact with Jungeun as she slides the change across the counter.

“You look horrible,” Jungeun comments again.

Jinsoul nods and goes to the back to start making Jungeun’s pizza.

When she comes back out, she half-expects the police to already be at the counter, but it’s just Jungeun, who’s still staring at her.

“You’re working a real job now,” Jungeun comments once more.

“Yes, I am,” Jinsoul mumbles, finally making eye contact with Jungeun again, “are you going to call the police on me?”

“No,” Jungeun shakes her head, “I’m not going to do that.”

“Why not?” Jinsoul asks confusedly, “I’m _right here_.”

There’s a moment where Jungeun seemingly contemplates what to say next.

“I regretted ever telling the police about you,” Jungeun admits, “I hated myself for it, actually.”

Jinsoul frowns, “Why would you hate yourself? It was the right thing to do.”

“It was a rash decision,” Jungeun shakes her head, “I was alone and angry and scared,” she bites her lip, “I was sad, most of all.”

“Look,” Jinsoul starts off, confident in the first word before trembling in the next ones, “nothing I ever _do_ or _say_ will _ever_ make up for what I’ve done.”

“I know that,” Jungeun nods, “but I could tell you regretted everything as soon as you told me about my father. You were more hysterical than I was.”

Jinsoul’s eyebrows furrow and she looks away, “Why wouldn’t I regret it?” she looks down at her feet and takes a deep breath, “You’re the only person I’ve ever loved since my family died.”

“I knew you loved me.”

_Ding!_

“Your pizza’s done,” Jinsoul states as she hurries to the back room. She packages the pizza and brings it out to the front counter.

“Here,” Jinsoul slides it to the younger girl.

Jungeun takes it with both hands and stares at Jinsoul for a moment.

“I was worried about you,”

Jinsoul scoffs and blinks away the tears that form at Jungeun’s soft tone. She hasn’t heard that voice in so long—she hasn’t heard any genuine concern thrown her way in so long—but something about it coming from _Jungeun_ irritates her.

“Worried about your father’s murderer? Who the hell does that?”

“You didn’t know he was my dad,”

“That doesn’t make it right,” Jinsoul argues.

“I know that it doesn’t make it right,” Jungeun agrees, “but you didn’t know I was his daughter.”

Jinsoul grits her teeth together and looks down at the counter.

“After a year had passed and there was no word about you, I thought maybe you’d killed yourself,” Jungeun says shakily, “I worried so much.”

“Almost did,” Jinsoul murmurs, “I stopped because I wanted to pay for what I did to you.”

“I loved you, Jinsoul,” Jungeun says, making Jinsoul’s eyes snap up to hers, “in fact, I don’t think I ever stopped loving you—but I know that being with you would feel like a betrayal to my father, and that’s why I can’t.”

“I understand,” Jinsoul says, a tear rolling down her cheek. Everything she’s been bottling up feels like it’s going to burst out because Jungeun’s in front of her again after all these years, after all these lonely years, “I loved you so much. It was why I gave you everything I had; the car, the money. I felt so _so_ guilty, Jungeun— _I still do_.”

“I know, Jinsoul,” Jungeun whispers, and just hearing her name—her _real_ name—causes Jinsoul something inside of the older girl to break.

Jinsoul bites down on her lower lip to keep it from shaking and bows her head.

“I don’t want you to live life thinking that you deserve to pay for what you’ve done, okay?” Jungeun says, “You’ve suffered enough. Live freely, Jinsoul.”

And then she leaves.

Jinsoul closes up the shop and walks to her apartment.

*******

Jinsoul sits in the empty bathtub and stares at the nearly ten-paged letter she’d written.

She had confessed to everything; to being Jinsoul, to murdering countless of people (she tried to include the names she remembered), to being undercover for nearly five years. She apologizes to the families she’s ruined and mentions that she knows no amount of words will ever bring back the dead, but that she’s very sorry, anyway. She mentions, at the end of the letter, that she fell in love with someone who taught her the true meaning of the word. She speaks about the adventures they had together and the happiness she’d felt. She doesn’t mention their name or their gender—she doesn’t mention anything specific that could tie suspicions down to Jungeun.

She tells the person that she’s glad she’s met her because her life changed for the better. She tells the person not to live with regret like she’s had and to move on. She tells them to always remember to have shitty jokes on hand for awkward moments in the future and to never let the light in their eyes dim because of anyone else. She tells them that what’s about to happen is no one’s fault but her own, and that they shouldn’t blame themself.

**  
**

She ends the letter with:

**_I love you, Red._ **

**_—Blue._ **

**x**

Jungeun’s woken up by her roommate, Yerim, who jumps onto her bed and shoves a phone into her face.

“They found the girl who killed your dad!”

Jungeun, brain still fuzzy with sleep, furrows her eyebrows. She sits up and rubs her eyes, “What?”

She takes the phone and reads the news article.

Her stomach drops.

**_‘Jung Jinsoul, Found Dead in Bathtub After Suicide, Leaves a Letter of Confession’_ **

**x**

**_‘Jung Jinsoul’s Grave Receives a New Bouquet of Flowers Every Week Signed by ‘Red’’_ **

**  
**

**Author's Note:**

> this story has been with me through a lot. i originally created the document on october 30th of 2016. it's been nearly two years and this story has been through at least three different fandoms and i've finally finished it in the loona fandom.
> 
> please do leave a comment and kudos, i love hearing responses to my stories!


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